Seasons of Love...

10 years later.  I still remember everything that happened.  I remember those words.  I remember the hurt, the shock, the pain, the anger.  I remember the questions...the whys, the what-could-I-have-done,   10 years ago we lost a wonderful, successful, charismatic brother/son/father/etc...to a horrible sickness.  An illness so debilitating, so haunting. One that makes you feel invincible one day, and worthless the next.  When people don't see help for this sickness, they try to self medicate--drink, do drugs, spend money--whatever they can to get a high, a rush, and feed their mania.  But eventually, none of that is going to help...none of that will help kill that inner pain.  That rush, that high, only lasts for so long and then the severe depression takes over.  The drugs, the alcohol, only fuel the disease and cause you to not be yourself.  Eventually, you cannot mask the pain anymore, nothing is fixing it. You don't want to die,...

Growing up, I frequently sang a solo in church called "Life is hard but God is good". It was a song my dad always favored me singing. The lyrics replay in my mind frequently...."Life is hard, the world is cold. You're barely young and then you're old. Every falling tear is always understood, life is hard but God is good."  There is a YouTube video being forwarded on Facebook that some people may or may not have watched. It features a lesbian who discusses "coming out of the closet" and how hard it was for her. But that was not the point of her discussion. She said all of us have our closets to come out of...all of us have our hard times. We do not  have the right to judge someone else's hard time. We are not able to say "my hard time is harder than theirs".  My family has had some very hard times over the last 10 years. Hard.  Brad and I have had our hard  times as newlyweds with financial difficulties, home improvements needs...

Out of all the creatures God created, why did God make the dog "man's best friend"?  Have you ever thought about it?  I know some people have a connection with their cats, fish, mouse (or other pet), but what is so special about the dog? As I'm watching "Little People, Big World", tears are literally streaming down my face.  Their dog, who they found out had aggressive cancer, passed away.  They found him asleep  in their back yard. This story really hits home.  I know many people can say their dog has been a blessing, a Godsend to them...but mine truly has been.  My dog, a little black and white spotted chihuahua, was found on the side of the road by two of my coworkers in South Carolina in 2007 during their lunch break.  They brought her back to the office...she was COVERED in fleas and sores.  I didn't care because I just knew she was mine.  I had just gotten out of a tough break up at the time and I really believe she was found j...

so many facebook posts and new stories lately have been breaking my heart... **the young teen, Devin, from Port Clinton, who has brain cancer and chemo isn't working **a friend of ours (and newlywed) from Indiana who just found out her NEW husband has leukemia **a friend of mine who's young son cut the tip of his finger off and could possibly lose it **a friend who's boyfriend got burned pretty badly while in another state **so many more sicknesses, deaths, and hardships that are affecting friends and family, and community members So often, to try and make the affected person feel better, we say "I'll pray for you"...or "You're in my thoughts".....I got to thinking...when you say those words, do you really mean it?  I've grown up in a Christian family and those words to me started to seem like a cookie cutter answer to people who tell you their problems.   Our family has been through trials I would not want any other family ...

There have been so many times where if something didn't happen at that exact moment, I would never have know something else was going on.  Example...my husband and I are doing some aesthetic work in the house, and he went down to the "scary" basement this morning to get the paint.  He came upon a couple inches of backed up sewer on the basement floor!!  Nothing like waking up to the smell of fresh "caca".  A few hours later, and it was all cleaned up...thanks to the hard work of Brad. Now, let me backtrack to yesterday.  I was reading my old emails, and came across one from my grandmother, who passed away in August.  These were her exact words, " I know things will work out for the best but I know right now those words seem not so good.... [Joyce Meyers] said while we are sitting around mourning about what has happened God is already planning the next step for you...  Better said   ..... He knows the future, the plans he has for you an...

I don't normally like to give too much of my opinions regarding political matters, but I'm really bothered by this issue....maybe more so nervous than bothered. I don't make much money per year.  I don't have the ability to pay every bill that I owe.  I go without things just to have money for gas. I use my Speedway Rewards points to eat some meals.  Now that the Government has passed the social security tax increase, therefore reducing my paycheck per month, really makes me nervous. I highly doubt I'm the only one in this situation, so, I forsee our consumer spending going down again, just like it did a few years ago.  Businesses could go under again, close, and our country could have another "bailout".....and put us more in debt. Maybe I don't know all the facts, maybe I'm looking at this ignorantly....I really do try to understand all the facts from both sides "of the aisle" and create my view, regardless of my political party.  Bu...

What a year 2012 was...and what a year 2013 is going to be In 2012, *I participated in two shows at The Bellevue Society of the Arts *I worked at Home Depot in Sandusky A LOT *Visited Columbus, OH three times *Sang around the town of Bellevue with Lance and Steve *Travelled to Pittsburgh and Washington, PA and sang with Walt Sanders and The Cadillac Band *Experienced way too much tragedy in our country *Watched OSU football go 12-0 *Actually attended an OSU game! *Visited my favorite people in Pelham, AL *Watched many many episodes of Criminal Minds reruns *Saw Dave Matthews Band in Cleveland *Decided who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. That's right...Sept 7, 2013 will bring to me a new last name.  Brad and I got engaged Dec 11, 2012.  And then, to add more excitement to 2013, Justin and Amy got engaged Dec 24, and will be getting married in August!!  Amy and I have a bunch of wedding planning to do in a short amount of time.  THANK GOD FO...

Things I'll miss about Alabama: *my house *my car *REAL BBQ *seeing Auburn everywhere *seeing Alabama everywhere *Jim n Nicks *J. Alexanders *sitting in Panera on my computer *the family who became my family *friends who became my family *driving 2 minutes to work *central time-all my shows came on an hour earlier, lol *Firehouse Subs *Margarita Grill *Publix-we don't them up north *Southern cooking---feel free to send me any food or recipes! *Old Time Pottery *my best friend who has become a sister *being called a "yankee" all the time *seeing Dave Matthews play right behind my house *being one of the few people I know in AL who cheers for Ohio State *going to Oak Mountain "beach" to relax *having three Walmart's within 10 minutes of my house *knowing what Sweet Home Alabama really feels like.

Since I'm making so many life changes lately, I decided to delete most of my posts over the past couple years.  No need to read them and dwell, because I choose to move on.  For almost 2 years now, I've lived in one of my favorite places to live.  There's not really much to do, I've been alone a lot here, but, here in Pelham, it's just so quiet and very homey for me.  I love the house I live in, and if I could take it with me, I would.  But, after almost 2 years, I will be leaving.  I've lived in many towns in my short adult lifetime, but my heart has always been in Ohio.  I guess I just felt like there were things I had to do and places I had to see.  As I look back, there's a reason for every single thing that has happened in my life over the past 5 years.  I had a job in Ohio working with a pizza company, which took me to help open a store in Myrtle Beach.  Talk about an awesome experience.  It took me out of small town Ohio...

Last weekend in January! I can't believe it's already one month into 2008. I'm going into this year somewhat apprehensive, yet excited to see how my life changes. 2007 was a definite rollercoaster for me. Many things happened that changed me very drastically, but also helped define who I am. I learned many lessons, good and bad, and have constantly replayed over and over again in my head the old adage "everything happens for a reason". I can almost fully say I'm thankful for the things I've been through because those lessons have shown me how to be a much stronger person. I never thought at age 25/26, I'd have to experience some of the things I did, but I did. I can't change them, I can't turn back time. I just take those experiences and move on....and then face more challenges....that's life! As I look back on my year here in Columbia, I am happy that I have met some of the people that I did. Some brought laughter, tears, peace,...